The Precious Moments on Earth

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

8:10 PM

Hurt 2

Kelyn hurt me today. And Shereen didn't help matters when she laughed along and made more "jokes". I know the both of you don't read my blog, but if ever you do, and you come across this post, know that I don't write what I'm going to write because I want to hurt you like you've hurt me. Because that's what friends aren't supposed to do. I'm just writing these down to let out the hurt and I hope you realize what you've done. I mean this especially for Kelyn.

Kelyn, I know you like to make "insulting jokes" like making fun of people's dressing and their attitude. At times, they're funny, but occasionally, your words can be really hurtful. I don't know what your intention was today...to irritate me? To distract me from watching my movie? Whatever it was, you said untrue things like I was a boastful girl just because I liked to speed when I ice-skate. What is wrong with that? Why must I slow myself down to you guys' pace when I know I can go faster? I want to enjoy myself, is that so wrong? I didn't speed along to show off that I can go faster than the rest of you. What will be the point of me going ice-skating if I only pretend to not know how to skate properly just so you wouldn't feel like a klutz? I don't think I've ever boasted of myself before right? If you want me to boast, I can do that you know.

You said I was boastful in a whisper. And you said some other things which I couldn't hear. And at that point I got angry and hurt and just ignored you. To me, if you're whispering about somebody, it is only because you know that your words will make the person hurt or angry. And you succeeded in doing both. What, just because I wanted to watch my movie and not hang out with you all gives you the right to do that to me? Must you insult me whenever I don't behave the way you like? And Shereen giggled along, thinking that Kelyn was just joking. Which I think you were trying to do. But remember, words carry meanings, even if you're only joking. And words can scar. You know, I almost cried at one point in the project room after you said something to me. Something I couldn't remember, but I just felt a little bit shocked that you said that to me.

The reason why I didn't say all of these things to you there and then is because I wouldn't know what would happen to our friendship. Would we be able to speak to one another again? You obviously didn't think of that. You think I'll just take it all in and play along all the time. You haven't seen my temper yet. If ever, this happens again, I'll have to say something back at you. Can't let you do this to me all the time.